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She's twenty-seven and looks like a normal-lipped Angelina Jolie. on a Wednesday, a couple of hours after Michelle had gone home, her profile was approved and popped up online. What if it went unnoticed for weeks, gathering dust in an obscure corner of the Internet? Her profile was viewed within the first three minutes. The page-view counter shot up to eight, fourteen, twenty. I know that technically these guys aren't e-mailing me. Michelle could have responded with a random string of letters and numbers, perhaps an umlaut and a backward slash, and these guys would be encouraged enough to ask her on a date. • If the guy uses more than two exclamation points in one sentence.

But Michelle -- though I've changed her name for this story -- is real. I've always been the chaser, so I didn't realize quite how radically the balance of power shifts when you're the chasee. By the way -- just a friendly tip: The username sexygentleman might turn some women off. • If the guy lists his best feature as "butt" (ironically or not).

The reason in this case is my two-year-old son's nanny, Michelle. Before my wife and I hired her, I thought that hot nannies existed only in vintage Penthouse Forum letters and Aaron Spelling dramas. Originally, I planned to send a personal ding letter to each of the unsuitable guys. By day four, we've gotten close to fifty approaches. I have a growing list of instant deal breakers:• If the guy uses the word lady or ladies in his opening e-mail.

But sometimes there are good -- or at least excusable -- reasons to pose as a female. If a beautiful woman gave me advice -- solid, well-intentioned advice -- I'd pay attention.

Sometimes when I am feeling overwhelmed with all of the things involved in owning and operating a Bed and Breakfast, I begin to question my motive for beginning this business.

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